Things to Like About This Weather For People Who Don't Like This Weather

Well everyone, it seems that summer is pretty much here. Time flies! Has it really been a year since the release of "California Gurls" by Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg? Has it really been six months since I broke my glasses at my goodbye party? Apparently so. Guess it's safe to say I can finally stop asking people how their holidays were.

The return of a season is always a really good time for me to change my mind about things. Remember how I liked Glee, then hated it, then started liking it again, then started telling everyone that it's a racist show, then started loving it? Now I am back to disliking it. Remember how I was so anti-baby-corn for a while? Now I'm on board. Remember how I all but vowed never ever to try hot yoga in my entire life? Guess who went to hot yoga last week and didn't even faint once! I feel like a new woman!

One of the things I'm trying to change my mind about is my attitude toward summer. I need to get over this, you guys. Just because I don't enjoy feeling like I'm trapped in the flaming tombs and boiling blood-rivers in the 6th Circle of Hell doesn't mean I need to go around huffing and puffing about it all the time.

In fact, I'm devoting this afternoon's post to talking about things to like about this weather for People Who Don't Like This Weather. (Not pictured: whiskey sours, bonfires, bluegrass, watermelon, and standing in front of the air conditioning until you are confident that your brain has solidified back into its intended shape from a warm heap of tapioca pudding.) The list begins:

1. Gardens: In my perfect life, summer feels like soil between my toes and tastes like the peppery finish of fresh-picked arugula on my tongue. It looks like giant primordial cabbages that resemble stegosaurus snacks, and match my shoes. It smells like young beet leaves and dark wild strawberries which are so bright they look poisonous. Do I sound like a voice-over for a Pure Michigan commercial? If so, my work here is done.

2. Seasonally-appropriate footwear: When you're wearing your new striped Cuban Cigar Box tennis shoes which make your feet look even bigger than they already are but they're Italian and canvas and summery so WHO EVEN CARES, no one will have to know that your true self would rather be buried six feet under blankets with a slice of apple pie and a linen-bound book with a hound at your feet. People will assume that you just got back from the Riviera where you were wearing a lot of breezy white dresses and floppy sunhats and hanging out with your best friend Pippa Middleton.

There is also the winning bare-legs-and-flats combo.

3. Pretty hair: Seeing all these summery hairstyles about town makes me excited to grow mine out! Look at all the fun you can have...

If you went to Mills College and wrote your Latin American Studies thesis on Indigenous Women and Governance in Guatemala, you can wear stylish hats or scarves to sweep back your choppy long bob.

If you go to New York on the weekends to ride your Electra Amsterdam Classic around Echo Park in search of the perfect espresso, you can wear your hair in two messy chic buns inspired by 18th-century Scandinavian princesses.

If you are an art teacher at a middle-class private school in Canton who misses the existence of Domino Magazine but will happily read Entertainment Weekly in the meantime, you can pull your highlighted wavy hair back with Ann Taylor Loft sunglasses to show off your cute bright earrings.

If you just moved to Baltimore from Bellingham, Washington, and now you live in Mt. Washington where you decorated your apartment with tapestries you got in Andhra Pradesh and photos of your years in Cape Verde with the Peace Corps, you can let your hair get long and flowy and dance while drinking cheap beer until you run into your friend in the middle of the street.

If you attend Mad Men parties at your friend's condo with the exposed brick and mid-century furniture, host a documentary club at your own apartment, and you went to see Sufjan Stevens at Carnegie Hall last year, you can wear your hair back in a loose chignon which you learned how to do on a design blog while you listen to your boyfriend talk about Kierkegaard with his fellow non-profit arts foundation co-workers.



There is something for everyone!

4. Stripes: You cannot be a red-blooded God-fearing American woman and not harbor a secret desire to be a Parisian baker. But most of us can't be a Parisian baker, so we wear stripes to make up for it. And Summer is the most stripe-friendly season!

(The one-toe-up stance is optional, but encouraged for optimum experience.)

5. Itty-bitties: Summer is also the time when we remember that children exist!

Oh and stately dogs that look like they belong in an Edward Hopper field.

6. Deliciousness: Hard cider for picnics and Vietnamese food to follow.

Okay summer, you're on my good side.

Last and least, in case you haven't had enough self-indulgence from me lately, here is a video of me talking about things I really love! Unclear as to why I: Referenced Marilyn Manson, talked about a moisturizing spray for 20% of the time, broke my own favorite grammar rule (less/fewer), and didn't initially find it embarrassing to record myself putting on lip gloss. Cheers!